Choice

I promised stories. This week hasn't felt too much like a week for stories though.

There's this one that I could tell, but it doesn't have a happy ending:
Six hundred students go through my classroom on a bi-weekly basis. It's hard to remember all their faces, let alone their names. Though there are always some students that stick out for teachers. There's one class- all girls and one boy- I would tell the boy that he was so lucky to be surrounded by so many girls. I don't think he ever believed me.
He would go out of his way to talk to me after class, ask me a question, just say hi. A smile was always quick to flash across his face and he was constantly helping without being asked. His dreams and ambitions were good and pure. He didn't just want to 'become rich' like so many of the six hundred (unfortunately) nameless faces. He wanted to be great at something. He had passion. It was unmistakable.
To put an end to the story, my class is all girls now. I no longer have anyone to tell how lucky they are.

I guess I should tell you another story side by side with the one above. This story is a little older, but like emotions they don't have a shelf-life, do they. The ending of this one has yet to come, and that is a happy thing.
In a different country at a different time, I taught about a hundred and fifty students a week. They were in and out of my class several times per week and I knew each of them by name and character. There was one student that was unruly, clever, and for lack of a deeper term- dangerous. He had wit that could cut you in half before you'd opened your mouth. His intelligence was matched only by his empathy, the later of which he would rarely let anyone see. He was loyal to a fault. He had so much passion sometimes it was like he was literally on fire, the way he'd send sparks through a room. He was also harder on himself than anyone in their teens should know how to be.
Now, every few months I look forward to poems and stories from a brilliant writer who has already far surpassed this teacher. His amazing traits are combined with optimism now, and his empathy has become unbound.

I am so grateful to be able to know both of these young gentlemen. They have made such a difference in my life. 

Cultural Reveration

In Korean culture age is revered more than talent, success, ability, fame, beauty... basically more than anything. What this translates into in everyday life is, simply put, old people get a ‘free pass.’ This goes beyond others giving up their seat on the bus or helping someone cross the street. These are actions done by others to show respect generally not actions carried out by the elder in a show of their status. In Korea the social status of age is demonstrated more by the actions of the older people and the choice of inaction or reaction on the part of the younger. The older the person the more this applies. Yelling, burping, farting, pushing, poking, sleeping in public, slapping, spitting on people, etc… anything goes if you’re old enough.

Those who are the oldest in a certain group, even if they are quite young, will get preferential treatment in that group. I’ve seen it among high school students in the same grade. The oldest gets served by the youngest and then up the chain. A younger group member would never contradict or correct an older group member. If an older group member wants to eat a specific food all group members will eat that food. If an older group member wants to talk about a specific subject the group will talk about that subject.

There is even more deference given if the oldest person is male. I don’t really want to get into gender roles and treatment yet, but let’s just say an older male is king. He can do no wrong. For example, I have seen an elderly man walk in off the street and start drunkenly yelling at people in a restaurant. The diners sat, saying nothing, not making eye contact with the man. He then escalated to spit on the younger diners at their table. Still no one did anything, no response was given by anyone at the table or in the restaurant.  After the man did not relent and continued for 10 minutes, an older woman (roughly the same age as the older man) came out of the kitchen and yelled at the man to leave. He left momentarily then came back and repeated the same scene three times. After the third time the police were called. So I guess there are some boundaries, but they are very extreme.

Anyway, I tell you all of this to set up a string of more pleasant stories. I want to preface this by saying that even though extreme actions by elders are tolerated in Korea, it does not mean they are socially acceptable. When I related some of these same stories to my Korean co-workers they listened in horror and said, “I’m so sorry. That is not right. I think maybe that person is uncultured or uneducated. It’s not acceptable to do that, but what can you do it is an older person.” So I guess you could relate this behavior to that of someone making vocally racist assumptions in the US- everyone feels uncomfortable, everyone knows it wrong, but generally everyone keeps their mouths shut and doesn’t do anything about it and if/when you do people are just as mortified.  In learning about a new culture you can’t help but see the reflection of your own (and really you should try to; cultural self-awareness is a wonderful thing).

In the coming weeks, get ready for some awesome, hysterical, awkward stories!

P.S. I'm really only doing this to keep up with Goal 1 in my last blog post.

Goals

Recently I've been feeling complacent, lazy, bored. So I decided to set some new goals! But this time instead of making them easily attainable I'm stretching completely out of my depth.

Goal 1:  Participate in and complete NaNoWriMo, or national novel writing month.
This means I'll need to write 50,000 words by the end of November. Have I written a novel before, you ask... No. Have I even attempted one...No. Have I ever set a words per day goal for myself...No. Can I even keep this blog updated regularly.... well you get the idea. This is going to be a challenge, as true goals should be.

Goal 2: Planksgiving.
I have a  love/hate relationship with planks. I'm not talking boards here, I'm talking about the exercise where you keep your body as stiff as a plank while in push-up position. It strengthens your core muscles, an area I have always had problems keeping strong. While I already workout on a regular basis I continually neglect my core muscles (horrible I know). So starting this month I'm doing planks everyday, increasing my time each day/week until I get up to a 3 min hold by Christmas.  (I'd really like a 2m 30s hold by Dec 1st, but that might be a bit too ambitious. We'll see.)

Goal 3: Spend less, save more, be happier.
I'd like to eat out less. What's with my eating out habits? I love cooking! Cooking is a stress release for me, so I have no idea why I've started eating out 2-3 nights a week. I'd like to get back into the habit of cooking and eating what I already have on hand. That should, inadvertently, help me save more money and be happier. Win-win.
I've been taking the bus to work every morning even though it's only a 25 minute walk. I like sleep what can I say. But now I'd like to start walking to work at least 3 days a week. Save some money, get more exercise, enjoy the crisp autumn air. It's a better start to the day than a stuffy bus ride.

Those are my goals for the month/rest of the year. I figured sharing them with you would help me to keep them instead of pretending like I wasn't actually serious when I said I wanted to do them... which is what usually happens.
Why start in January with resolutions when you can make new goals all year round?