Lost in translation...?

Translating Korean workplace English into Western workplace English...coworker to coworker edition.

Maybe.
a) No. Definitely not.
b) I have no idea and therefore don't know how to respond, but I don't want to lose face so I will just say this!
c) Yes. Most definitely, but I cannot tell you  because I have not been told to tell you yet.

What do you think?
a) Whatever you say don't expect me to care unless it matches what I think, verbatim.
b) Please read my mind and tell me what I think or, if I've already told you what I think, just agree.

Can you do this for me?
a) You will do this if you want to or not. The only way you can get out of this is to die or quit. Questions? Didn't think so.
b) If "I'll owe you dinner." is added at some point: I am asking you to do something above and beyond the above and beyond that you already do. I'm aware that this is a favor and you could possibly say no and make my life a living hell, but you won't because if you do you'll be known as "that person that never does anything."
c) If a compliment about your person or personality is added: I'm such a nice person and you're such a nice person...help me. Please for the love of all that is good, help me!

Are you sure?
a) I think you may have misunderstood something along the way because you don't seem to be fully agreeing with me. AGREE WITH ME THIS INSTANT.
b) If following "Can you do this?": see "Can you do this?" (a) and be ready to say "yes, of course" each of the two to three times they will ask, or suffer the consequences.
c) I am unhappy. You better change your answer RIGHT NOW before the sh*t hits the fan.

Is it clear?
a) I don't even know what I just said, but I expect you to understand through ESP or some other supernatural force.
b) I have exhausted my ability to explain myself. Please don't make me continue.
c) Just say yes. If you say no it will become even less clear. Are we clear on that?

Is that ok?
a) If you do not respond in the affirmative there will be a gap in the time-space continuum and the Time Lords will be able to enter and kill us all.
b) I have not told you many details and you are probably confused, but you must make a decision with little or no information. See a) as to what depends on your decision.

It's not so important.
a) This is the most important thing that you could possibly need to know, but you will probably have to weasel it out of me.

That's all.
a) That is most definitely not all, but I'm unwilling to tell you any more. Have fun trying to figure out what I want!
b) I have told you nothing of what I actually want you to do, but for some reason I feel that our conversation is over. Do not ask me any questions or seek clarification. Why are you still standing there?
c) I've just asked you a monumental favor, but will now act as if it is inconsequential and expect that you will act the same.

You look horrible today!
Also phrased as: You look much worse than you did yesterday. or Are you sick? You look sick. or Wow, you need some rest.
a) I am concerned for your well-being. Please feel better! (But don't you even think about taking a sick day, unless you are dying, maybe then you can take one.)
b) You might be working too hard. Take it easy. But don't neglect your work.
c) You have neglected self-grooming to the standard we require. Why aren't you taking care of yourself? Have you no shame?

That sounds good.
a) That sounds horrible. Do not ever say anything like it again.
b) I will agree with you and then do as I like, which will probably be the exact opposite of what I just said "sounds good."
c) Nothing will change no matter your or my feelings on this matter. No need furthering the discussion.

Whatever you think.
a) Your idea is horrible.
b) I resent you having a say in this matter at all.
c) We all know that we will go with whatever I think in the end.


And my personal favorite that everyone is taught from childhood in Korea...
Take a rest.
a) Take a break.
b) Take it easy.
c) Go take a nap on your desk.
d) Go home and don't do work.

Poetry Teaches Us All

This week I had a poetry lesson with my seniors.  We studied Keats' When I Have Fears, because he's my favourite Romantic. Then we studied Yeats. I'm not actually sure why I chose Yeats. Maybe I thought it'd be quite a bit easier since the language is simple and straightforward. It went pretty smoothly, up until Friday. 

In my first class on Friday, we reviewed the poems, analysed them, and then got to the point where I felt like the students were just about finished trying to give input. We were on the last line of Yeats, here's the full poem:

He wishes for the Cloths of Heaven
W. B. Yeats, 1865 - 1939
Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

The students made some great observations and did well for ESOL seniors in high school, really for any seniors in high school. Then one girl ruined it. 

In the last five minutes of class I ask, "Who would you be willing to lay your dreams down for, for that person to walk on your dreams?" Immediately shouts of "Lover." and "Best friend!" go out. So I do a little stompy dance just to show what could happen, then I walk softly to demonstrate that either outcome isn't the most desirable for your dreams. Both shout outs are swiftly rescinded. In the last minute of class, just as I think everyone is finished responding, one girl quietly says "A parent for their child."  

Boom.

I am speechless.

I stutter, "Yes, um, uh, that's...well, that's brilliant. I've never seen it, uh, interpreted that way. I... well, um, and I think that's the best idea I've heard... Uh, wow."  Yeah, super eloquent English teacher response. 

The bell rings. 

In the next class, I wait to see if any of my students come to the same enlightened conclusion...none do, nor can they think of ANY situation where they'd lay their dreams at someone's feet, let alone beneath.  I decide to go for it, and share the awesome student's perspective (of course giving full credit to the student). We have about five minutes left in class,"What if it's a parent talking to their child?" 

Tears.  

A girl bursts into tears. 

Bewildered, I start talking about some grammatical device in the poem so she can save face. However, I don't want to abandon the really good interpretation. I only got that one sentence out so after two minutes I go back to the parent interpretation. I re-read the last two lines asking them if they could imagine a parent doing that for their child. 

Three more girls burst into tears. Not dabbing tears. Sobbing tears. 

This was the most amazing thing EVER! My students crying because of the beauty and understanding of poetry! It was one of those rare moments where you actually feel successful as a teacher.  

So thank you Yeats. You were never my favourite. Although I have always appreciated your talent, now I appreciate it even more.  Even more so, I appreciate the student who actually shared her brilliant idea! My students are really, really smart (geniuses really), but it's so infrequent to get them to express their amazing ideas. So thank you girl who shared her poignant thoughts. 

But most of all: Thank you to my parents. Because after all, parenthood really is the truest, deepest, and greatest form of love. 

Snowboards, Logic, Small Children and TKM

This week I've started something new. Fitting right? New year, new you, new resolutions...blah. I don't do new years resolutions because I don't believe in waiting to change something. But as it so happens this new thing coincided with the start to the year.

I went to the "oriental medicine" clinic (no, I'm not being insensitive, that's the name of the place). It's on the way from my home to school. I'd seen chiropractic tables in there as I walked by, and figured if I ever needed it I could probably get adjusted there.  I haven't had any back pain or any other issues really until...

I went snowboarding a few weeks ago. It's been ages since I've snowboarded (really it's been a decade, but that makes me feel old). I did quite a bit of falling before I got my breaks back. Eventually I got the hang of it though and I had a really good time... for a while. Here is where it's tempting to stretch the truth or gloss over details, but I'll go ahead and give you the less-abridged comic story.
After several hours of snowboarding, and successfully navigating a couple runs with no falls I get to the last 100 meters of the run at the very bottom of the mountain. As I start slowing down, this small child slices right in front of me and stops so that I have to A) swerve wildly to miss him and probably fall or B) physically move him out of my way, because he's honestly that close and he's stopped (WHO DOES THAT!). So I obviously choose B and gently grab his shoulders and move him about 30 cm to the right. Now as I do this I'm smiling, and thinking unpleasant things about young children.
**Reminder: Yes, I teach 'children', but I do not teach small children for reasons such as this. Small children have no logic. This infuriates me and doesn't work well. I teach adolescents and they have logic combined with heavy doses of hormones. This is much better. It's an interesting combination.**
After I move him, the small child looks at me like I've just thrown a rock at him or shoved him on the playground. I smile pleasantly and say "thank you" in Korean, because I'm a really nice person (and I don't know anything else appropriate in Korean under those circumstances. I really wish I could have said "Respect your elders, even on the slopes!" but I'm not that advanced.) So, I continue down thinking that I'll go back up for one more run, and the same kid slices in front of me AGAIN. But this time he stops at the end of the slope, turns around, and stares/glares at me. At this point I'm about 50 m from the end of the slope, he just stares me down as I slowly advance. So I do what any self-respecting adult would do and I stare right back at him...
and then I fall flat on my face.
I swear the kid was sending me ancient Korean curses, or manipulating the snow under me so that I'd fall. But probably I just wasn't paying attention and didn't adjust my board to go over a drift... either way I was face-first, wind-knocked-out-of-me, could-have-bitten-my-tongue-in-half laying in the snow. And to top it all off this kid was still staring at me.

Now here I am weeks later and my neck is still hurting from that epic fail. Which lead me to the Oriental Medicine Clinic! Let's just say I have made myself a lab rat. More on my experiences there next time.