Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Snowboards, Logic, Small Children and TKM

This week I've started something new. Fitting right? New year, new you, new resolutions...blah. I don't do new years resolutions because I don't believe in waiting to change something. But as it so happens this new thing coincided with the start to the year.

I went to the "oriental medicine" clinic (no, I'm not being insensitive, that's the name of the place). It's on the way from my home to school. I'd seen chiropractic tables in there as I walked by, and figured if I ever needed it I could probably get adjusted there.  I haven't had any back pain or any other issues really until...

I went snowboarding a few weeks ago. It's been ages since I've snowboarded (really it's been a decade, but that makes me feel old). I did quite a bit of falling before I got my breaks back. Eventually I got the hang of it though and I had a really good time... for a while. Here is where it's tempting to stretch the truth or gloss over details, but I'll go ahead and give you the less-abridged comic story.
After several hours of snowboarding, and successfully navigating a couple runs with no falls I get to the last 100 meters of the run at the very bottom of the mountain. As I start slowing down, this small child slices right in front of me and stops so that I have to A) swerve wildly to miss him and probably fall or B) physically move him out of my way, because he's honestly that close and he's stopped (WHO DOES THAT!). So I obviously choose B and gently grab his shoulders and move him about 30 cm to the right. Now as I do this I'm smiling, and thinking unpleasant things about young children.
**Reminder: Yes, I teach 'children', but I do not teach small children for reasons such as this. Small children have no logic. This infuriates me and doesn't work well. I teach adolescents and they have logic combined with heavy doses of hormones. This is much better. It's an interesting combination.**
After I move him, the small child looks at me like I've just thrown a rock at him or shoved him on the playground. I smile pleasantly and say "thank you" in Korean, because I'm a really nice person (and I don't know anything else appropriate in Korean under those circumstances. I really wish I could have said "Respect your elders, even on the slopes!" but I'm not that advanced.) So, I continue down thinking that I'll go back up for one more run, and the same kid slices in front of me AGAIN. But this time he stops at the end of the slope, turns around, and stares/glares at me. At this point I'm about 50 m from the end of the slope, he just stares me down as I slowly advance. So I do what any self-respecting adult would do and I stare right back at him...
and then I fall flat on my face.
I swear the kid was sending me ancient Korean curses, or manipulating the snow under me so that I'd fall. But probably I just wasn't paying attention and didn't adjust my board to go over a drift... either way I was face-first, wind-knocked-out-of-me, could-have-bitten-my-tongue-in-half laying in the snow. And to top it all off this kid was still staring at me.

Now here I am weeks later and my neck is still hurting from that epic fail. Which lead me to the Oriental Medicine Clinic! Let's just say I have made myself a lab rat. More on my experiences there next time.

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