Lost in translation...?

Translating Korean workplace English into Western workplace English...coworker to coworker edition.

Maybe.
a) No. Definitely not.
b) I have no idea and therefore don't know how to respond, but I don't want to lose face so I will just say this!
c) Yes. Most definitely, but I cannot tell you  because I have not been told to tell you yet.

What do you think?
a) Whatever you say don't expect me to care unless it matches what I think, verbatim.
b) Please read my mind and tell me what I think or, if I've already told you what I think, just agree.

Can you do this for me?
a) You will do this if you want to or not. The only way you can get out of this is to die or quit. Questions? Didn't think so.
b) If "I'll owe you dinner." is added at some point: I am asking you to do something above and beyond the above and beyond that you already do. I'm aware that this is a favor and you could possibly say no and make my life a living hell, but you won't because if you do you'll be known as "that person that never does anything."
c) If a compliment about your person or personality is added: I'm such a nice person and you're such a nice person...help me. Please for the love of all that is good, help me!

Are you sure?
a) I think you may have misunderstood something along the way because you don't seem to be fully agreeing with me. AGREE WITH ME THIS INSTANT.
b) If following "Can you do this?": see "Can you do this?" (a) and be ready to say "yes, of course" each of the two to three times they will ask, or suffer the consequences.
c) I am unhappy. You better change your answer RIGHT NOW before the sh*t hits the fan.

Is it clear?
a) I don't even know what I just said, but I expect you to understand through ESP or some other supernatural force.
b) I have exhausted my ability to explain myself. Please don't make me continue.
c) Just say yes. If you say no it will become even less clear. Are we clear on that?

Is that ok?
a) If you do not respond in the affirmative there will be a gap in the time-space continuum and the Time Lords will be able to enter and kill us all.
b) I have not told you many details and you are probably confused, but you must make a decision with little or no information. See a) as to what depends on your decision.

It's not so important.
a) This is the most important thing that you could possibly need to know, but you will probably have to weasel it out of me.

That's all.
a) That is most definitely not all, but I'm unwilling to tell you any more. Have fun trying to figure out what I want!
b) I have told you nothing of what I actually want you to do, but for some reason I feel that our conversation is over. Do not ask me any questions or seek clarification. Why are you still standing there?
c) I've just asked you a monumental favor, but will now act as if it is inconsequential and expect that you will act the same.

You look horrible today!
Also phrased as: You look much worse than you did yesterday. or Are you sick? You look sick. or Wow, you need some rest.
a) I am concerned for your well-being. Please feel better! (But don't you even think about taking a sick day, unless you are dying, maybe then you can take one.)
b) You might be working too hard. Take it easy. But don't neglect your work.
c) You have neglected self-grooming to the standard we require. Why aren't you taking care of yourself? Have you no shame?

That sounds good.
a) That sounds horrible. Do not ever say anything like it again.
b) I will agree with you and then do as I like, which will probably be the exact opposite of what I just said "sounds good."
c) Nothing will change no matter your or my feelings on this matter. No need furthering the discussion.

Whatever you think.
a) Your idea is horrible.
b) I resent you having a say in this matter at all.
c) We all know that we will go with whatever I think in the end.


And my personal favorite that everyone is taught from childhood in Korea...
Take a rest.
a) Take a break.
b) Take it easy.
c) Go take a nap on your desk.
d) Go home and don't do work.

The Time Avalanche

One more day and the year is done. They seem to do that, go by. Passing faster and faster like a time avalanche, the more that gathers the faster it goes. I assume one day I'll feel over taken by it. Caught up in the time avalanche: afraid for my life, happy in the memories, unable to look ahead.
So we start another story in the series (if it can be called that). This one a touch sadder and more dear.

There is a lady that lives next to me with her son. She is elderly and her son is in his forties with a disability of some sort that leaves him unable to work. It's common in Korea to live with your parents until you are married. But you have to understand one thing: I live in a studio smaller than most hotel rooms. For me this is do-able, I actually have a bit of a thing for tiny houses so this is right up my alley. But for an elderly mother and middle-aged son... I'll just say I can't imagine this being comfortable. They seem fine though, no squabbles or fights, believe me I would know.
The day I moved in we (3 of my wonderful co-teachers, a wife, a daughter, and I) were cleaning the apartment and left the door open a crack. Next Door Neighbour was there in a heartbeat. Asking questions, wanting to know where I was from, who I was, what I was doing here. I, of course, understood none of this and my co-teachers prodded her away with smiles and polite answers as they shut the door.
Every day Next Door Neighbour and her son go out to collect cardboard to sell to the recycler. I see them walking. Sometimes he's in front, sometimes she takes the lead with her makeshift cart made from an old baby stroller. Whenever I have empty boxes I leave them in the hallway, on top of the pile of broken down cardboard that continually transitions from collection, to doorstep, to recycler. Each time I see them in the elevator or walking up the steep hill to the apartment I bow a greeting and say hello. Next Door Neighbour usually regales me with some story or questions, none of which I can understand let alone provide a response to.
I once saw Next Door Neighbour in a group with several other ladies that spend their days collecting recyclables. I had never seen her look so content, animated, and happy. I bowed my hello and she didn't notice. It was the best thing I'd seen in a while.

Umbrella and the rain

The first happy elderly person story. A little late, but still on time.

On a rainy morning in September I left my apartment with my usual 4 minutes to get to the bus stop, stepped on to the elevator, and was promptly greeted by a bag of food waste held by a woman who would come roughly up to my collarbone if she had been able to stand up straight, but since she was in a permanent semi-hunch she was a little taller than my elbow.  I nodded a greeting as I got on the elevator and then thought about my lesson plans. When we came to the bottom I let her get off first, as I arranged my jacket and umbrella. As I walked out of the entrance, I noticed her standing on the steps looking out at the misting rain, down at her food waste, and then back in at the elevators in a worrisome fashion. She did this several times as I took the few steps to meet her. Once I was next to her I motioned to my umbrella and smiled. She returned the gesture by taking my arm with a huge smile and a lot of words, only a few of which I understood. Let's just assume she was grateful because "thank you so much" was repeated several times. As I walked with her to the food bins she bantered on and after disposing of her food waste patted my arm and hand in what I can only describe as a grandmotherly fashion. I left her on the steps, having gone a total of 20 meters out of my way, and received the biggest smile and most cheerful "thank you. have a wonderful day." I may ever receive. She made my day. 

Cultural Reveration

In Korean culture age is revered more than talent, success, ability, fame, beauty... basically more than anything. What this translates into in everyday life is, simply put, old people get a ‘free pass.’ This goes beyond others giving up their seat on the bus or helping someone cross the street. These are actions done by others to show respect generally not actions carried out by the elder in a show of their status. In Korea the social status of age is demonstrated more by the actions of the older people and the choice of inaction or reaction on the part of the younger. The older the person the more this applies. Yelling, burping, farting, pushing, poking, sleeping in public, slapping, spitting on people, etc… anything goes if you’re old enough.

Those who are the oldest in a certain group, even if they are quite young, will get preferential treatment in that group. I’ve seen it among high school students in the same grade. The oldest gets served by the youngest and then up the chain. A younger group member would never contradict or correct an older group member. If an older group member wants to eat a specific food all group members will eat that food. If an older group member wants to talk about a specific subject the group will talk about that subject.

There is even more deference given if the oldest person is male. I don’t really want to get into gender roles and treatment yet, but let’s just say an older male is king. He can do no wrong. For example, I have seen an elderly man walk in off the street and start drunkenly yelling at people in a restaurant. The diners sat, saying nothing, not making eye contact with the man. He then escalated to spit on the younger diners at their table. Still no one did anything, no response was given by anyone at the table or in the restaurant.  After the man did not relent and continued for 10 minutes, an older woman (roughly the same age as the older man) came out of the kitchen and yelled at the man to leave. He left momentarily then came back and repeated the same scene three times. After the third time the police were called. So I guess there are some boundaries, but they are very extreme.

Anyway, I tell you all of this to set up a string of more pleasant stories. I want to preface this by saying that even though extreme actions by elders are tolerated in Korea, it does not mean they are socially acceptable. When I related some of these same stories to my Korean co-workers they listened in horror and said, “I’m so sorry. That is not right. I think maybe that person is uncultured or uneducated. It’s not acceptable to do that, but what can you do it is an older person.” So I guess you could relate this behavior to that of someone making vocally racist assumptions in the US- everyone feels uncomfortable, everyone knows it wrong, but generally everyone keeps their mouths shut and doesn’t do anything about it and if/when you do people are just as mortified.  In learning about a new culture you can’t help but see the reflection of your own (and really you should try to; cultural self-awareness is a wonderful thing).

In the coming weeks, get ready for some awesome, hysterical, awkward stories!

P.S. I'm really only doing this to keep up with Goal 1 in my last blog post.